Kamrin, Ashley, Jaydan, Madyson, Kamdyn and Brynlee: Valentines Day

Valentines Day this year was a good one. The kids really got into it and thought it was so fun. they loved putting their Valentines together for their class party. I got them in their Valentines clothes and off to school we went. They got lots of fun Valentines and treats from their class. After their party I dropped them off at Hamma and Hampas (Kamrins parents) house so they could spent some quality time with them. My kids looked forward to this for weeks and would ask everyday if it was Valentines so they could go on their date with Hamma and Hampa :-) After dropping the kids off I spent most of the day with my friend. It is really weird only having 1 kid around! Its so easy :-) When I got home Kamrin and the kids were waiting for me and the kids had a surprise for Kamrin and I. Hamma and Hampa took them to buy us both a caramel apple with a balloon tied to it! Even better they made us Valentines!! Made my day for sure! They were so excited to show me them. I just love them so much. After the kids went to bed Kamrin and I watched Step Up 3. We hadnt seen it yet and we both really love the Step Up movies. The dancing is truly amazing. Using with sequels they just arent as good as the original but Kamrin and I both think with these movies they just keep getting better!! Im the kind of girl who doesnt need to be taken to an expensive restaurant and in fact I rather not go out on Valentines because everyone else does and waiting hours to eat just seems silly to me so we always make it special in our own way at home and go out to celebrate another day. I like it so much better that way! Nothing better to me then my husband making dinner and being home with my cute family and spending quality time with my husband when the kids go to bed. What more could this girl want???

Call me crazy but Im actually not a big fan of Valentines. I guess you could call me the Valentines Scrooge or Grinch. Even though its an annoying holiday to me I still get into it for my kids and husband. I think its silly because I dont need a holiday to tell me to show and tell my loved ones how much a really love them. I can and do, do that everyday. The only thing I like about it is watching my kids get so excited so I will never tell them what I really think of Valentines. My mom always did such fun and cute things for us growing up on every holiday which I loved so I do the same with my kids. They get their Valentines outfits, candy and presents.

Im not a Grinch when it comes to love just the so called holiday for it. Love is actually very important to me. It so important for me to show the ones I love that every single day. When I got up in Sacrament when Kamdyn was blessed I even spoke on love. True unconditional love. I love MANY MANY people and have a very deep love for them but the kind of love you feel when you have a child is like no other. In my testimony I shared that when I was pregnant with Maddie I worried that I couldnt possibly love anyone else like I loved Jaydan. So wrong! It just comes natural with each child you have. I never knew this kind of love existed. Its the most amazing feeling in the world. I love each of my kids with all my heart and I know its a true unconditional love. I know there will be times I dont agree or dont like the decisions they make in their lives but I do know for a fact that will never change my love for them.

On facebook a couple of my friend out that they were going to write one thing a day about why they loved their husbands. I liked the idea and joined in (See Im not all Scrooge LOL) Anyways, it was actually really fun to share all the small things that makes me love Kamrin so much. I just wanted to share a few on here and go into a little more depth. Kamrin tells me constantly how beautiful I am. Even when my hair is not done, still in pjs, chasing kids around and have spit up on me from just feeding the baby. He gets up with the baby in the middle of the night too. He gets SO excited to show the kids new things. He gets up with the kids pretty much every morning so I can sleep in as much a possible. He is an amazing cook. He works so hard at a job he hates to provide for his family. He makes it possible for me to stay home with our kids because it is so important to him that they have their mommy raise them. He NEVER quits no matter how hard things gets. I could go on and on.

Now for the more in depth part. Kamrin and I have known each other for almost 9 years now. Wow that makes me feel old!! We have had a pretty big roller coaster ride in our relationship from the beginning. When we met we clicked right away and jumped into a relationship after only knowing each other a week. This is pretty crazy because Kamrin had never had a girlfriend before. He dated ALOT but never got into a real relationship. I must have been pretty special to change that in only a week :-) We spent everyday together. I was going through one of the hardest times in my life when I met him and he stood by me every step of the way. He saved me in so many ways. I struggled with major depression, an eating disorder and even suicide thoughts. I have never really shared this with people except my family and maybe a couple others. Im choosing to open up about it now because well its not who I am anymore and I want to have it written down on how special Kamrin really is and I feel comfortable doing it here since it is a private blog and I have chosen who can and cant read it. Anyways I was pretty messed up mentally back then and I had no desire to live at all. I felt like I was a nothing and how could anyone ever love someone as messed up as I was. Everyday was a new battle. I have such an amazing family who never gave up on me and who supported me through everything I went through. When Kamrin came along it was different. I felt so drawn to him. I opened up to him more then anyone I had ever done before. The only person who probably knew more about me at that point was my mom. With how hard I fought him Kamrin stuck by me through it all. I tried to get him to leave me cause I felt he deserved someone so much better. When he went on his mission we wrote each other for the first 9 months or so then we stopped. In those 9 months I was changing daily. I was so much stronger. I actually wanted to live. I stopped cutting, my eating disorder was fading and my suicide thoughts were completely gone. About a week and a half after he came home he came to my house and we talked for a couple hours. I shared all the changes in my life I had made. By the end we were at a point where it looked like we would go our separate ways but would always have a special place in our hearts for each other. Well that lasted a whole day :-) We once again were so drawn to each other and had a connection we couldnt ignore. Things for the next couple years were like a said a huge roller coaster. We then had Jaydan which only made the made the roller coaster bigger. When he was 5 and a half months old we got married. Without going into private details Ill just say it hasnt been easy. We never got the Newly wed face. We never got to know married life without a baby. Dont get me wrong I wouldnt change it for the world because that would mean not having my Jaydan. We have had many ups and downs in our relationship and marriage. Since then we have added 2 more kids to our family and honestly things couldnt be better. How we are getting there is personal but I have never felt so close and so in love with Kamrin. I fall in love with him more everyday. He has seen me literally at my very worst and never left. We have been through more in the last 9 years then most couples go through in 50+ years of being together. We are at a place that I KNOW no matter what comes our way we will be just fine.I KNOW that he loves me unconditionally because he has proved it time and time again. I know we will still have our struggles and life will throw us some curve balls but I KNOW that together we will face it and together we will make it through. Kamrin is truly my soul mate. I know he was meant just for me. Not many people would be strong enough to help someone through what he helped me through when we first met and for that I owe him my life. He has given me the 3 best gifts anyone could ever give me. I love him with every ounce of me. He is my everything! He is why I am here today! He is why I am healthy and happy! He is amazing!!!