Wednesday, February 8, 2012
In A Perfect World
In a perfect world we wouldnt have to feel or go through any kind of pain or trails. Unfortunately its far from a perfect world. We all have trails and get hurt by others. Others choices affect us and sometimes it life changing for us. The last while I have been struggling with this. I think of it often. I have been trying so hard to think thing through and use my logic instead of my hormones. Its hard ti do that when your pregnant though. I want to focus on me and focus on my family and not what others are doing but sometimes its really hard. Its hard to let go of things that people have done that have hurt you and affected you alot. Its even more hard when you feel they have never answered for it or changed in any way. Its hard to see those people get everything they want and get blessed with so much when they have done such horrible things. You often hear people say that even if they dont answer for things here they will one day have to answer for it after this life which helps but it doesnt. Its nice to know that even if they ignore it now that one day they wont be able to hide from it anymore but you still have to live your life now knowing they are getting what they want and living not having this in their mind like you have to carry it around. Your left carrying the baggage they created. I have been praying and praying about this lately and last night after a very deep conversation with my sister I figured I might be praying for the wrong things. I cant control what happens to others and what blessings they get and dont get but I need to focus more on how I let it affect me. So now I will start searching for the answers to heal and be okay with what I cant control. Its alot easier said then done and I know it wont happen over night but I need to work on it. I need to try. I have been blessed SO much with so much love and support in my life and I need to cling to that to get through mind battles like this. I need to turn to Heavenly Father for different answers then I have been. I cant ask him to prevent things and I cant expect to feel better by putting my happiness on what someone else gets or doesnt get so I need to work on my mind struggles and my whole emotions. So if you have any advice on what has helped you in similar feelings or situations you have dealt with I would LOVE to hear it.