Our Family

Our Family

Monday, October 8, 2012

Bullying

This is a hard post for me to write. Its a very emotional topic for me. It all started a few weeks ago. I was in the kitchen with all 4 of my kids. I was starting to make dinner since Kamrin was on his way home from work and we had just finished Jaydans homework for the evening. Jaydan decided to get in his "pjs" even though it was still so early. I write "pjs" because his new thing to do is he likes to sleep in just his underwear since it was still warm at nights. Anyways he undresses and bends over to talk to Brynlee who was in her bouncy chair and I happen to look over and say in a very loud voice "Jaydan what in the world did you do to your back????" He looks at me weird and says he doesnt know what Im talking about so I took a picture and showed it to him. His eyes got huge and he just stared at me for a minute. I asked "Well where did that mark come from?" He kept trying to avoid it and said he got hurt at school but wouldnt give me any details. I asked him if he told an adult when he got hurt and he told me he told his teacher. I know my son very well and can see in his eyes when he is lying to me so I asked him " If I go and ask Mrs Doman tomorrow if you told her will she say you did?" His eyes got really big again and told me that he didnt tell her and begged me to not say anything to her about his back. After questioning him off and on the rest of that night the only thing he told me was a kid pushed him. Wouldnt tell me who and wouldnt tell me how a push resulted in a mark like that. The next morning I walked him up to the door and as his class was walking in I noticed he looked back at me and had tears rolling down his face. One of the moms I have become friends with saw him also and offered to sit with my other kids so I could go in and check on him. I pulled his teacher aside and told her what I had discovered the night before and she confirmed that he had not said anything to her about it. She told me she was going to talk to the principal about it and keep an eye on him to try and get some answers on what exactly happened. We have tried numerous ways to get him to talk but he wont. So last week again I was in the kitchen and his shirt moved a certain way and I noticed he was scratched. I move his shirt and ask him how he got it. He told me a kid in his class clawed him but again wouldnt give me a name. The next day I pulled his teacher aside and told her that he had another mark. I showed her the pics I had taken. She told me she was determined to get to the bottom of this. The next morning she came up to me and told me all the 1st grade teachers and the principal were on high alert because another student had came forward too. Also Jaydans friend was having a problem with a bully at recess and was getting hurt. It was to the point he was making himself sick before 1st recess started and missed alot of school due to fear and making himself sick worrying about his bully. Jaydans teacher tried to talk to him anout it all and he just started crying instantly. All of this has brought me to tears many times. The thought of my little Jaydan getting hurt to the point they are leaving horrible marks breaks my heart. Also the thought of him being so scared that he wont talk or give any information makes me so sad. I am determined to do whatever I have to do to find out who is hurting him. We are working to teach Jaydan he has to stand up for himself and not let people hurt him but he is such a softy that he even allows his younger sister and brother to pick on him and they even hurt him and he just sits there cause he is afraid to hurt them. I try and teach him that he doesnt need to hurt them back to protect himself but that he needs to move himself out of the situation. So far its not sinking in. I hope we get to the bottom of this very soon!!
The first mark I found on Jaydan

The claw marks

This is what happens the second I try and talk to him about it :-(
 

2 comments:

Telisha Garris said...

I am so very sorry! I wish that my son could point out the problem.
I am starting to believe him when he says its an older kid.
When they line up in the morning, neither boy is afraid.
Causes me to think the bully is not in the first grade.... We will work this out!

brigette said...

This breaks my heart! I hope you find the culprit soon. That's terrible!!