Our Family

Our Family

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Pregnant Or Miscarriage???

Fast forward 2 days after receiving the BEST Christmas present ever and its Sunday. I wake up with cramps. Throughout the day they get worse and worse. I took it easy all day. Kamrin does the dishes for me and when he is done he takes the kids to his parents to play with their new toys there and I could get some rest in a quiet house. I lay around and feel a bit better so I get up and fold some laundry. He gets home just in time to put the kids to bed. He starts to play his Wii game and I go to the bathroom. I look and Im spotting. NO!! I want to cry. My cramps get worse. Grrrr! Why is this happening AGAIN?!? I go downstairs without telling Kamrin. I lay down and start to cry. I decide I need to go up and tell Kamrin. I sit by him on the couch and said "I should have listened to you" He asked about what. I tell him "About announcing the pregnancy so early" He asked me why and I tell him Im spotting and then I lost it. He paused his game and threw the paddles on the couch and gave me a huge hug and told me how sorry he was. I cried a while and just let him hold me. Then I told him I was going to bed. A while later he came down and pulled me over to him and told me "Ashley you dont need to go through this by yourself" I lose it again. He just held me and let me cry on him. He told me thank you and when I asked him for what he said "For going through this kind of pain over and over to give us the most happiness we have ever had" meaning our 2 amazing children. I lost it again! What a beautiful thing for him to say to me at that moment! I couldnt sleep much that night. My cramps hurt, my heart hurt and I was confused. Didnt understand why. Yesterday morning I get up and my cramps were HORRIBLE and I couldnt stop crying. My grandma and aunt were nice enough to watch the kids while Kamrin worked so I could rest. I slept alot during the day. I still am only spotting. My pregnancy symptoms are going away. With all the pain and the pregnancy symptoms going away I was wondering why I was only spotting. With my other miscarriages I knew right away because of how heavy it was. I am so confused! What is going on with my body. Why did I spot 2 weeks again and not lose the baby? I believe in my heart I am losing the baby but then my head is questioning it. I try not to get my hopes up that there is a chance its still there. If so though why dont I feel the pregnancy symptoms anymore. Grrrrrr!!! Kamrin picked up some tests on his way home (The word ones!!) and I take one. I was shaking so bad! If it came back negative I was going to go take a lortab so I didnt have to be in that pain anymore and drowned my sorrow with Mt Dew :-) So I waited and waited which seemed like forever and sure enough it says pregnant! Does that mean I still am or does that mean I still have some of the hormone in my body. I will test again tomorrow or Thursday after my body has had enough time to get all the hormone out. If it comes back pregnant by the weekend I will go in Monday for an ultrasound to see what is going on. So the big question is AM I PREGNANT OR DID I HAVE A MISCARRIAGE??? I just want to know either way!!!!

My test to see if I had a miscarriage

1 comment:

Annie-Staten said...

When I became pregnant after my miscarriage I started spotting at around the same weeks my miscarriage happened and I was so sad...but everything ended up being o.k. I hope it works out for you- I'll keep you in our prayers!